Zero point Zero
by Isolee
Summary: Kakashi's ability to love him is at 0.0%, and Kotetsu knows that. Kakashi/Kotetsu. One-shot. Language.


Kakashi wasn't a romantic person. Kotetsu _knew _he couldn't possibly _be_ a romantic person, judging by the way he acted, interacted and just was. The first time the guy asked him out, Kotetsu made a promise to himself never to indulge in any fantasies or lose himself dreaming. He promised himself never to expect anything out of Kakashi, and just go with the tide, to see where the it would take him. He was afraid at first, to one day wake up and find himself alone in a cold bed with rumpled sheets and the smell of sex in the air, a note on the dresser saying his lover had gone on an S-class mission somewhere in _outer space_ for all he knew. He was afraid that by that time, he'd started taking it all for granted and had accepted his situation years ago.

He was afraid that Kakashi's inability at being romantic and keeping his relationships would mean it was over before it had even started, because he knew, Kotetsu _knew_, that he was already in too deep, from the moment Kakashi with a cocky grin on his all too handsome features leant on the door post to his apartment, yes, he knew that the decision to let him in had been fatal and that only a masochist would fall in love with a person whose capability to love was at _zero point zero_.

"Where are you going?"

Not that a relationship necessarily needed any cliché romantic counterparts to work, not at all, there were people out there who made it work simply because they fit so well together, knew each other so darn well that any flowers, gifts or dates a lá stereotype way would just raise suspicions as to why the hell you suddenly feel the need to buy me flowers, and the heck? Are you apologising to me for something, buying me off with this diamond ring? Of course, that would only happen in, say, an American soap opera, but still, even those were based on real life somewhere.

"Uh, I just wanted to watch the stars for a bit."

Kakashi was a bit of a child in some ways, actually. The look of complete and utter bewilderment he fired at Kotetsu at times like these, when feeling the need to watch, feel or smell something like stars, hair or flowers by the roadside (that, by the way, were also a dumb way of spending time – or even worse, wasting it) were expressed in a poor attempt to be inviting. Kakashi could not understand Kotetsu wanting to step out into the night, the frosty and biting cold that covered and quieted Konoha like Yuki Onne's freezing breath would still the dying in ancient myths (Kotetsu had gotten the fortunate job of collecting information on a religious sect from a decade or so ago that was rising up again, adding to the apparently lethal headache the Godaime had acquired somewhere along the resurrection of the group named Akatsuki last month, and in doing so he happened to stumble upon a book of ancient Gods and Goddesses. A completely harmless way of spending the people's tax money) when he might as well be watching the stars from a window in their warm, comfortable and fairly big apartment.

"There's a certain feeling to it, watching from outside, a certain silence and peace that fills you up until…"

Discussions with Kakashi normally went pretty well - Kotetsu had learned that from the small disagreements they'd had in the past.

The definition of 'pretty well' being no raised voices and logical arguments being proposed until they could find a way to compromise, sending them both on their merry way, both being just as less pleased or overall pleased as the other. Kotetsu was happy he'd found a partner who was willing to negotiate, if not, perhaps, admit he was wrong about something ("You believe you're right, I believe I'm right. Now let's make a deal and-").

Until he realized it was actually all part of Kakashi's teacher-handling-student ways. Not that it was anything bad about that, it just pissed Kotetsu the hell off to be treated like a genin. But their discussions came to ends where they both settled on a solution (more often than not the same solution), if not, let's say, Kotetsu's arguments would not be logical in Kakashi's point of view, but instead entirely based on and off feelings. Those discussions never reached any kind of end, and would mostly involve the two of them facing away from each other and not speaking for the rest of the day. The next morning it would all return back to normal, but leaving it as such none of them apologising, admitting defeat nor waving a white flag and bring up the topic once more to try to solve it a for a second time.

"You've seen the stars before. They're still the same as the last time you snuck out to watch them."

Truth to be told, Kotetsu loved watching the stars. Had he ever had a wish, it would be to someday watch them together with someone who appreciated them as much as he thought he did himself. But that would be romantic and cliché-like, and behaviours with such tags were just none existing in Kakashi's mental database.

"Yes, well, you have your hobbies and I have (mine overseeing that jab about sneaking out). You've read that orange, brain cell devouring thing called Icha Icha several times for just the same reason that I'm watching the stars on winter nights."

"Because it turns you on?"

"No. Because I suck so bad interpreting them that I have to go at it again and again."

Now, slamming the door shut with such force probably wasn't the best thing to do, but Kotetsu failed to see what the best thing to do was at that moment. He didn't especially care.

True as it was, though, he also failed at understanding what the stars seemed to tell so many other people about their future, love life and whatnot. Either that, or the constellations really didn't mean anything and he'd just spit a very stupid simile in Kakashi's face from across the room, where the jounin had been sitting in an armchair, reading that ever present book.

Ten minutes, and his toes had been de-lifed and his cheeks turned rosy by the cold and ice had formed small crystals in his eyelashes.

"I hope that wasn't a far-fetched jab at my ability in bed."

Of course, being a shinobi, Kotetsu had been aware of Kakashi's presence for several seconds. He just had nothing to say, to put it simple.

"I must say I cannot understand the interest you have in watching the stars, but I suppose…"

It was not like Kakashi to trail off. In fact, it was so unusual of him that Kotetsu had to turn around to make sure it was his Kakashi he was talking to, and not some henge. Not that he took any part of the talking at the moment.

"But I suppose, if you compare it to my Icha Icha, I can begin to sympathize with you, even if it's just an infinitesimal smidgen."

"So I finally found a way to communicate with you that is within your level of comprehension? I'll remember to make another Icha Icha simile the next time I want to get through to you."

"Take your time."

Indeed, it was an experience unlike none other Kotetsu had had on a late winter night (and a much warmer one at that), but that was just his romantic side waving his hand in the air, trying to gain his attention for more than just a tiny moment. Because he shrugged it off to remain in that real present, the one where he was snuggled up against Kakashi, thanks to – or because of – mentioned man's speed and ninja skills in general. It was about more than just watching the stars. It was hearing him breathe and feeling his hands and smelling his hair and watching his eyes and soon taste the flavour of the coffee he'd been drinking when Kotetsu left. It was realizing he was freezing his ass off and that the urge to watch the stars was gone and replaced by another urge to get closer, whether it was because of physical need or that never resting romantic in him. The one Kakashi wouldn't ever understand.

"Just wondering, though. Does this mean you're up for trying Icha Icha, or that it's me who's the one open for new things in this relationship?"

"The latter."

"You really should try it. New things, I mean. It pays out."

Was it just Kotetsu's inner romantic's heart beating a little harder for an instant, or the closeness of the two making him melt into the person right by his centre, that made him interpret that as a declaration of some deep feeling he always restrained himself from imagining was there, Kotetsu'd never know.

After all, Kakashi's capability to love was at zero point zero.


End file.
